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Biden fiddles (with a Nintendo controller) as Rome burns

While the American Empire crumbles, migrants swamp the southern border, China and Iran make threatening noises, and thousands are dying from the plague, President Biden spent the weekend playing video games, according to Newsweek.

The same mainstream media empires that criticized President Trump for playing golf or performing any other activity than his presidential duties have no problem fawning over Biden’s prowess at Mario Kart; their praise for his ability at moving the knobs on a controller is reminiscent of North Korean media’s reporting on their Dear Leader’s 5 holes-in-one when he played his first ever round of golf.

The 78 year old Biden reportedly stumbled into the games room at Camp David where he found his granddaughter playing video games.  He was placed in front of the screen and a game controller was put in his hand; to nobody’s surprise (within the political-media circle, at least), Biden immediately defeated his 26 year old granddaughter, despite having never played the game before.

According to sources, the senior Biden was trailing for most of the race, until close to the finish line his car mysteriously jumped ahead and he cruised to an easy win.

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